People change, and their friendship changes with them. The older we become, the more consciously we approach the formation of our environment. Knowing ourselves, we need to find people with similar hobbies, goals and ethical principles – this becomes the basis of a strong equal friendship on the part of both people. We have some tips on how to build and maintain such an alliance.
When you sense that a close friend is hurting and you can support them through words, actions, or silent presence, you show compassion. In the same way, you should be able to rejoice for his victories, a successful union with a partner and new acquaintances. It is not at all necessary to chat on the phone for hours every day, because adults have their own affairs and concerns. But seeing each other from time to time and knowing that at any moment you can call a person with a request to talk is very important for maintaining friendly relations.
You should experience all the important moments of your friend’s life together with him. Yes, it’s really hard to reassure a loved one in the months after a failed affair, or to support a friend when they lose their job, have a baby and go through postpartum depression, move to another country, and so on. Many lack the patience to be close to a person when you objectively see the situation and try to convince a friend of the best ending to the problem, and he only wants to suffer. But it is precisely in such situations that true friendship manifests itself: where you sincerely want to help a person and see him happy again.
Ordering a bouquet of flowers for no reason, bringing a friend’s favorite exotic fruit from a trip, leaving him a sweet note on the refrigerator or simply saying “I love you” – these actions show that you are happy to be friends with a person and appreciate his care and attention towards you. In friendship, there should be no “you to me – I to you” principle: show care not because of the approach of a friend’s birthday, but whenever you have the opportunity. So the person will definitely understand that he is not a stranger to you and that you want to continue communication with him, and not just keep him on the bench.
Any events that happen with your friends also affect you – not everyone manages to abstract and not worry about what a loved one feels. Any emotion requires a considerable release of energy, so you need to make sure you have the resource for it. And if there is none, then fill your battery with a long sleep, physical exercises, travel and everything that charges you with positivity and makes you want to live. If you are bogged down in your own problems, it is difficult to spend time with another person: it will seem that all their troubles are insignificant. Sessions with a psychologist who will help you get out of all the troubles and explain how to fill your resource will help to solve this.